12 More Ways to Identify a Hipster Cafe

 

Well it doesn’t seem like the cafe trend is dying down anytime soon.  As a matter of fact, the trend is evolving and MORE cafes are opening (oh I pity the wallets).  Here are 12 more ways to identify a Hipster cafe.

1waffles

Because poached eggs with Hollandaise sauce is sooo yesterday. Flipping pancakes? Ain’t nobody got time fer’ dat!


 

2Tables

Interior designers: “It adds warmth and cosiness to the space and is extremely strong and durable”
Hipsters: “They are really really Instagrammable”


 

3seatings

Your choice of a tiny pedestal or a large communal table, nothing quite in the middle.  Claustrophobic-unfriendly.


 

4furniture

No idea why, but somehow these cafes found sense in having furniture that don’t match.  They don’t even complement at all.


 

5memos

Artwork from unknown artists or handcrafted memorabilia that no one buys.  You’ll usually see very cute items which has price tags that make them look rather uninteresting.  Cute notebooks that you’ll fawn over but will never actually write anything


 

6Jars

Hipster cafes cares for the environment enough to not use plastic cups and is not mainstream enough to use actual glasswares.


 

7Operating

If you work mainstream office hours (e.g. 9am to 6pm), you don’t deserve to visit them outside your office hours, because they operated mainstream hours. And only hipsters can visit them during mainstream hours. Which is a whole conundrum of irony.


 

8ceilings

Uncovered ceilings exhibiting wires from incandescent light bulb wires, air-con vents and piping seems like the trendy thing to do right now. Comeon, with the savings from the rentals at ulu places and the overprice “brunches” I am paying for, I demand to see some faux ceilings.


 

9Menu

That is if you are lucky, you get a menu you can mull over. If you’re not, its some random wall space you have to pick your brunch item from while you have a line of cafe-hoppers eyeing you down for taking more than 1 minute to decide if you want sausage or avocado to go with your scramble eyes.


 

10Plates

 

This is an extension from the vintage furniture that they have.  To complete the whole experience, they are serving sandwiches and cakes in enamel plates taken from their grandmother.


 

11Laptops

If 11 out of 10 laptops you see in a café, it’s a hipster café (Its so hipster that you have no idea where isthe 11th Macbook is).  Be prepared to be judge if you are using non-Apple products, yes, they (the hipsters) throw you disgusted stares when you try to snap a picture of the latte with your Samsung.


 

12Music

They play music specially curated from Pitchfork.  With chart-topping albums like “Foundations of Burden” and “They Want My Soul”, it will surely set your mood in for another cup of burnt coffee.  I once sat in a cafe that played Lemon Tree…acoustic..by some female singer I have never heard of.


 

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